And so it happened. I tested positive for Covid 19. After months of hearing nothing but news about this “novel” virus here to plague humankind, avoiding it as much as possible, yet not fearing it too greatly, I was exposed at a gig where I was hired to sing back-up for a major pop star from another culture and country.
My symptoms were mostly lightheadedness, the slightest bit of congestion, and the tell-tale, loss of sense of smell. It made sense that it was residing in my head because I tend to be an over thinker. “Er lebt nur im Kopf”, a lady in Germany said about my father, meaning, “He lives only in his head.” It felt as if the virus had a message for me, for us, for humanity. Since I already was feeling extremely spacey, I figured I might as well meditate, go within and see if I could communicate with the Covid 19, in style of Neale Donald Walsh’s Conversations with God.
Because the virus is not personal, it does not speak in a human voice and is not motivated by human motivations, I chose not to write my communications in first person form.
**Why are you here?
The Covid 19 virus forces everyone to stop, which is easy for the status quo to do, but what about the truly under-served communities I’ve worked in here in the United States? People who can’t afford to stop, people who don’t have the luxury of spending this newfound time with their families, cooking home cooked meals, unplugging from the daily rat-race. The people who can’t apply for unemployment, who can’t even apply for a credit card to rack up debt? The 30 million children in LA Unified School District who rely on school meals, or school as an escape from domestic violence and abuse at home. What about UNICEF’s report that up to 6,000 children a day could starve due to everything coming to a halt? Covid-19 is both an equalizer and an un-equalizer.
**Where are you from? Are you from a lab or from nature or from outer space?
What difference does it make? It is all within the same universe. Where is it from? A time so deep, so ancient and yet so new because viruses live out of time. It forced me to explore my own timeline, out of our human construct of time, time which is an illusion. To me, having the Covid 19 virus felt like a possession either from outer-space, or another entity.
**What Do You Want?
The virus wanted me to stop. It wants all of us to stop. But when some people stop, it could be stopping for good. But the virus is not personal. It is the top of the food chain, not we humans. The virus has a job to do. It is the circle of life. It is our human egos that think we can control life. Control the circle of life. It wants to explore. It wants to learn about itself as we want to learn about ourselves.
**Why is it benign for some and fatal for others?
Because the virus uses what it finds and uses it up. Obviously there are certain medical factors such as pre-existing conditions that contribute to the virus’ effect. It is not personal. It follows its nature as we humans follow ours, consuming and using all living things in our path.
**Why do you use us?
Because humans use everything else. It is not a battle, it is symbiosis. Believe it or not viruses are not as selfish as we humans are. If viruses really wanted to, they could destroy us entirely. But then who would be their hosts? Why don’t humans think about this when it comes to the environment and our ultimate hostess Mother Earth.
**Are people overreacting?
People always overreact. If everything just is, all reaction is just reaction.
**But people are dying?
Death is just another door. All people die. We all will die, we are all dying. We must accept our mortality within the immortality of our Spirit. To live is to die and to die is to live. It is the only certainty in this existence. What happens in between is up to you. Or is it? Your reactions are up to you. All life is reaction.
**What do you want me to learn?
The virus doesn’t care what I learn. Again, it is not personal in the way we humans perceive. But I learned I had to keep moving. All life is movement. Even in stillness. If we become small, we can become large. If we become humble we can also become grand.
**When will the virus be over?
There is no time. The virus forces me, forces us, to be in the present, to feel the now. At the end of the day it is not all about me. It is not all about us. It is not all about us humans. We are merely specs of Stardust in this intricate cosmic machine.
About Christina Lindhardt: Ms. Linhardt believes in the healing power of the arts and works as an artist/theater therapist for the Imagination Workshop, conducting workshops with mentally ill, Alzheimer's patients and recovering veterans. She has also worked for East LA Classic Theater, and B.R.I.D.G.E., programs which use theater as academic intervention for At-Risk youth. In addition to receiving her degree at USC, she studied theater at Oxford, University, England, German language at the Goethe Institute in Berlin, French at the Euro-Centre in Paris, and dance in Dakar, Senegal.
Christina Linhardt has enjoyed an eclectic and versatile career as a concert singer, writer, producer and dancer. She is most known for her "Classics to Cabaret" act (which was the headliner for the opening of the Grand Concert Hall in Saxony, Germany), and her independently produced cds,"Circus Sanctuary" and "Voodoo Princess". As a writer, Ms. Linhardt has been published in the Arcadia Weekly, South Pasadena Review, The Joker, Die Weltwoche (Switzerland) and Westways Magazine. She also published a monologue through Applause Publishing and serves as the staff writer for the California Philharmonic having founded their "Meet the Musicians" series. She won the 2013 Hollywood F.A.M.E. Award as producer, writer and director of the short documentary "Guantanamo Circus" now available on Amazon Prime.Christina can be seen performing regularly at the World Famous Hollywood Magic Castle.
Christine's website: www.christinalinhardt.com