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Key Lesson: Nothing is as thought sees it, let alone that it says “I” to… which is
why we must work to be watchful of our thinking whose stream creates the
illusion of a single self, but that is – in truth – many.
For Further Study
When you think of a single beautiful flower in springtime – while it may stand
with petals and leaves that look a certain way – you’ll never find a single
flower the same as any other flower. Can you understand that the life of that
flower is not the life alone that you see coming out of the ground? That
flower belongs to a much greater life than the individual expression that you
say is beautiful. So that when you speak of the beauty of a single flower, you
could never utter the words or experience the radiance of it were it not for
the fact that the life of that flower itself belonged to a body, a universe of life
– the creation out of which that one flower came.
But we don’t see the bigger life behind the little one. All these little things
that we look at in life – be it a flower, a lion, or a river – we don’t understand
that what we’re looking at is just an individuated expression of something far
greater than the thing we observe. We only see the little life, which
incidentally is why people fear death, because they only see the little life.
They know nothing of the bigger life from out of which their little life has
come.
In exactly the same way, so does it hold true for what we think of as being “I ”
– what we call our sense of self. Our feeling of “I” belongs to a tiny world. And
because we don’t know the Real I, the Divine, the Christ, and all we know is
what that little “I” in us presents itself as being, we don’t know to whom we
belong.
Said otherwise, we belong to anyone and everything we look at or think
about that provides us with a sense of identity. What kind of life is it when the
dominant “I” inside of you does nothing but look in the mirror of the past?
And all it does is tell you that you’re this, you’re that, you can’t, you won’t, and
look what’s happened? And so, because you do not know to whom you
belong, you belong to anything that comes along and claims you with the
authority of some pain, talking to you about yourself. Because you don’t know
to whom you belong, you would rather listen to something telling you who
you are than to authentically find for yourself this larger life you belong to
that never talks to itself, let alone denigrates itself.
Most of us have absolutely no awareness of I at all. And yet there is no more
valuable possession in this life than our sense of I. Everything that is good,
beautiful, true and noble, and everything that is turned into food to produce
beauty, love and nobility, is in our sense of I. We meet life through our sense
of I. But our sense of I is not meant to be dominated by what it meets in life.
Rather, it is meant to be reflected in the life it meets, and to know itself
through the broader existence that relationship produces.
Presently, our identity is a process of constant comparison of one thought
bringing up another thought, then reflecting upon what it brings up, and in
the reflection, producing stimulation. And in the stimulation, a “for” or
“against” appears. Now we know what to do about what has stimulated us,
and we feel alive. But we are not alive when our thoughts are telling us who
we are based on some comparison, based on what has happened in the past –
all the “I’s,” the parts of us that talk about our past, our problems, our fears,
our worries, what we hate.
How do you recognize a little “I”? Because would you deliver yourself into
that captivity if you knew the only reason you feel as though you are in pain is
because something in you is looking at a life that you don’t have? And you
couldn’t feel you’re missing it if it weren’t for the fact that something in you
says you ought to have it.
All these things inside of a person that produce constant conflict are part of
the process of little “I” and more little “I’s.” Any time you’re resenting
something or someone, any time you’re talking to yourself about what just
went wrong, you are in the hands of a little “I.” Little “I’s” pretend to know.
Strong opinions come from little “I’s.” Anxiety is always the expression of a
little “I.” For that matter, all negative states belong to little “I.” Why? Because
you can’t get negative without resisting something. Resistance comes from a
body inside of a human being’s psychological body that’s dead.
When you are angry, worried, frightened, concerned about your appearance,
going over the past, taking a selfie in one form or another, self-referencing, it
is another attribute of a little “I.” “Me, me, me, me, me” – everything is about
me. There is maybe no better definition of a little “I” than the part of you that
makes something big out of everything. Because the little “I” thrives on
ruining your potential to know Real I, and then everything feeds little “I.” And
it doesn’t care what it eats because it’s not alive. It just wants the constant
stimulation of “Poor me,” “This isn’t right,” “What am I going to do?” “This is
wrong.” You just give yourself over to all those conditions that come into you.
This I that we can be aware of while we’re aware of “me” is life. It is where
Love lives. Love lives in Real I. It’s difficult, because we have so little attention
and capacity to actually keep our mind sharp enough to see it. Because the
minute you see it, the minute thought starts, I disappears. Then little “I” is
what trails thought, picking up the pieces, putting it together, pushing it
forward. Little “I” is always examining the trail of thoughts and deriving a
sense of self from them. Whereas Real I, who you really are, to whom you
actually belong, is present enough to see the trail of thoughts – just like you
would see a contrail from a jet pass through the sky.
The little “I” always asks for the best of everything. And how do you know it’s
a little “I”? Because when it doesn’t get what it wants, it’s humiliated, angry, or
frustrated. Real I, your true nature, does not go through those gyrations.
Why? Because it lives from another order of yourself. The whole purpose of
spiritual teachings is the gradual movement from being identified with one
little “I” after another, into the recognition and through the realization that
each of these little “I’s,” all they’re doing is borrowing your life. Do you want
to loan out your life until the time comes when your life itself is called for, and
then you find you have nothing?
Little “I’s” love to compare your life to something else. Little “I’s” can’t use
anything that’s living, because they’re not alive. What lives is in relationship
with life itself. And when you’re in relationship with life itself, then what is
true in you – the gifts that you are given as a creation of a broader life – the
individual expression of your life is seeded with every possibility that you
need in order to enter into the broader life, which is ultimately the gift of this
existence.
There are multiple exercises implied in this new understanding. First, if when
you’re suffering, you could just see in that moment that the only reason the
condition persists as it does is because something in you insists that it does.
Then you would know what to stop loaning yourself to. Why would anything
in you continually refresh in your mind a relationship in which, through it,
you’re miserable every time it’s reflected? Why would you do that? Would
you do that if you had the choice?
Catch the little “I’s.” Don’t make a big deal out of it. Just notice these dead
parts, these “I’s” – how insistent they are. Little “I’s” always come with
pressure. When you’re depressed, a pressurized little “I” is forwarding, over
and over again, what it wants you to see (that it is projecting) so that you can
feel the pain and it can live and gain from your existence. Little “I’s” are
pressurized. Find in your own life these examples of little “I’s,” and don’t feed
them. The way you’ll know it’s a little “I” is because no little “I” is going to say,
“Hey, I’m a little “I!” How do you know it’s a little “I”? Because it feels like a big
“I.” And the bigger the “I” feels, the smaller it is. Here is more evidence: Little
“I’s” love to pounce. Little “I’s” love to blame. Now if I know that I’m in the
hands of a little “I,” that I’ve loaned out my life – but it’s my life – am I not
entitled to ask for a return? Demand your life back! Don’t give your life away
to little “I’s.”
Find out for yourself in your day-to-day life. It happens almost incessantly,
where some little “I’s” come up and borrow from you your true sense of I. The
clearer you can become in these moments, the sooner they will begin to
dissipate. And you’ll know what it means to be a human being whose natural
nature is to be in command of their own life because their natural nature
belongs to the Grand Nature, to the Divine that is giving them their life
instead of stealing it for the sensation of being alive. One is enriched, the
other made poor. You choose.
Do the work. Make something of what you’ve been given. You grow what
you’re given by dying to little “I,” the seed in the ground that must pass and
abide alone lest something else grow from it. You have to die to live. Die to
what? All these little “I’s,” and of course, the nature from out of which all little
“I’s” come. Because just as there is one source of big I, there’s one source of
little “I” in the scale of things. And to understand that is the beginning of
wanting to be present enough in your life to understand: “I need to be
attentive here. Why would I let something that’s dead have my life?” The
more awake you are, the more alive you become. The more alive you become,
the more you’re given the life that you want. It’s perfect.
About Guy Finley: Guy Finley is the Founding Director of Life of Learning Foundation, a
nonprofit Center for Spiritual Discovery. He is the acclaimed author of The Secret of Letting Go and more than 50 other books and audio programs, translated into 30 languages, that have touched the hearts and minds of millions worldwide.
For over 45 years, Guy has helped people around the globe discover the inner path to freedom, and a more authentic way of living. His direct, down-to-earth teachings speak to some of life’s most pressing challenges—fear, anxiety, relationships, addiction, stress, and the search for peace. His work has been widely endorsed by physicians, business leaders, and spiritual teachers of every tradition.
Guy lives and teaches in New Smyrna Beach, Florida. He holds regular online classes that are livestreamed (https://www.guyfinley.org/light). These free classes are open to all.
For more information about Guy Finley and nonprofit Life of Learning Foundation visit www.guyfinley.org
