Beyond The Break: Re-Imagining Spiritual Community

There’s a particular ache that lingers after stepping away from a spiritual community you once felt called to. The question of why often catches in the throat—not because the answer is unknown, but because it still carries the sting of what was lost.

The fractures within the spiritual community mirror those in the wider world. Just as our nation feels deeply divided, with fear and mistrust building walls between neighbors, so too do our spiritual circles splinter into isolated silos. This isn’t just a personal pain; it’s a collective crisis of connection and compassion touching every part of our lives. Indeed, disconnection has become highly profitable, a mechanism for those who benefit from division.

My departure from a church wasn’t due to a loss of faith or calling. It came from the exhaustion of fighting for a vision that could evolve—one more inclusive, more fluid. Instead, I met silence, resistance, and control. Some clung to tradition, dismissing new perspectives as threats, not growth. Seeing the toll it took on others who also tried to mend these fractures, I realized the futility of continuing the struggle. So, I chose to leave quietly prioritizing peace over being right. Yet, I still mourn what was lost.

The Lingering Emptiness

I miss the sacred rhythm of circle. I miss watching someone find their voice, connect to Spirit, and trust their gift. I miss teaching—not for ego, but for the joy of helping others grow. That sense of shared purpose and unfolding spiritual discovery is what I truly grieve. The loss of this vital connection is palpable, leaving me with a restlessness now, like a candle wick smoldering, waiting for flame.

But here’s the truth: we are not alone. Many others have stepped back, shut down, or been shut out. Promising spiritual communities have splintered into factions — each wary of the other, each carrying wounds that never fully healed. People who once worked together now avoid each other in grocery aisles or sit on opposite sides of the room. This, too, reflects broader societal disconnect, where fear of difference often trumps shared humanity — fueled by systems profiting from our isolation.

This is not Spirit’s way. Spirit calls us to radical truth, expansive wholeness, and genuine reconciliation — not to hardened hearts or walls between seekers. But we grow bone-weary trying to pull people together who choose to stay apart, whether within a congregation or a country.

And we feel angry. Angry that egos silence voices. Angry that fear masquerades as discernment. Angry that the deep wisdom elders hold is buried beneath bitterness and suffocating bureaucracy. This isn’t just a church problem; it’s a human problem, stifling progress and understanding everywhere — often because disconnection serves a clear agenda.

Finding Clarity Amidst the Fracture

Still, beneath anger and fatigue, there is clarity. We begin to see what we could not fully name before. The fragmentation isn’t just about personalities or power. It’s about unhealed pain and a deep fear of irrelevance. We’ve been so busy protecting our place that we’ve forgotten our purpose—within small groups and society at large.

In quiet moments, we hear it — a gentle nudge from Spirit. The reminder that our gifts haven’t vanished. That service can take new shapes. That healing doesn’t always happen in circles but sometimes begins in solitude. This quiet wisdom is essential, not just for personal recovery but for rebuilding connections on a grand scale — challenging forces that benefit from our separation.

I still believe in what’s possible. I believe deeply in the sacred potential of spiritual community. But more than ever, I believe it must be built on collaboration, not control; transparency, not secrecy; love, not fear. These foundations are vital not only for healthy spiritual groups but for a truly connected world — where the call to reconnect triumphs over the profit of disconnection.

The Continued Call

So where does this leave us? For me, the answer lies in continued listening and attentive waiting for Spirit’s next invitation. I don’t have a blueprint, but I carry a prayer: that those of us who feel disillusioned will not give up; that those silenced will find their voice again; that bridges we couldn’t build before might still rest on a better, more authentic foundation.

Though the fracture feels undeniable, so too does the persistent call of Spirit. I am still listening, still believing—in healing, unity, and hope. I hold space for the day when divisions within our spiritual communities and society give way to deeper connection, understanding, and love.

I invite each of us to lean into the discomfort of connection, to be brave in reaching out, and to trust that healing begins with a single step.

About Rev. Colleen Irwin: Rev. Colleen Irwin is a powerhouse of intuition, insight, and inspiration. A natural Medium, she turns whispers from Spirit into wisdom that empowers others.  She is the author of Discovering Your Stream and the upcoming Guided by Spirit, a must-read for those developing their spiritual gifts.

As a business consultant, Colleen blends intuition with strategy to help others succeed. She also teaches, writes, and leads development circles. In addition, she volunteers at the Susan B. Anthony Museum, sharing stories of resilience.  A Previvor since 2019, Colleen knows the power of healing and transformation. She inspires others to trust their gifts, embrace their path, and live their truth.

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